My Partner Earns More Money Than Me and the Way We Split the Bills Makes Me Uncomfortable

Doesn’t the joint account work for you too?

Photo by Chermiti Mohamed: https://www.pexels.com/photo/close-up-shot-of-a-couple-hugging-each-other-9425024/

My partner earns over $170,000 a year. I make good money too, I have 4 sources of income, but I’m in a very different tax bracket.

I’ve always been very independent when it comes to my personal life and my finances, but when we moved in together everything changed in a strange way.

My partner owns a house and didn’t want me to pay rent, which would also be very uncomfortable and strange if I paid rent.

Outside of housing, we split the bills (Wi-Fi, electricity, water, food) based on income — my partner covers about two-thirds of everything and I cover the rest. It’s all based on our salaries.

Basically, the way things stand, it looks like I’m in debt to her because she pays a lot more of our expenses than I do.

To be clear, she doesn’t expect me to — at least that’s what she says. Even so, I can’t help feeling that I owe her something and I don’t know how to get out of this situation. That’s why I hate joint accounts.

My partner’s family is also so wealthy that they generally don’t recognize her financial privilege — which makes every money conversation we have really difficult.

My friend suggested we split things 50–50, but I don’t want it that way because it’s beyond my means, and I don’t feel comfortable paying as little as I currently do.

During this time I’ve learned that immersing yourself in the world of financially rich people can be strange. When you’re not used to seeing everything through the lens of having and risking losing money, it can be strange to suddenly have this new perspective.

Regardless of my partner’s motivations, I’m using all the money that I would normally pay to rent and considering using that money to build my own financial wealth.

Some of the most common ways I plan to do this are through his totally separate retirement account, an additional investment account such as a stock brokerage account, a real estate account, and a small business based in Brazil.

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